Crap footy wins crap game

AUGUST 2008: Western Bulldogs coach Rodney Eade has admitted his side won a crap game against Melbourne by managing to play “slightly less crappy football than the crap they were playing.”

In what was universally recognised as a low-standard encounter, the Bulldogs staggered home by 13 points by virtue of playing marginally less crap football than their opponents when it mattered.

“We were absolute crap for three and a half quarters but only basically crap for the last 10 minutes and I think that won it for us,” Eade told The Bladder. “The Demons, by contrast, were remorselessly crap for the entire 120 minutes of crap game time.”

Demons coach Old Bill Bailey agreed that Melbourne had been crap and that the Bulldogs had also been crap.

“Yeah, it was a crapfest and we were both utter rubbish,” he said. “Good on the Dogs for finding a slightly lighter shade of crap at the right time. They deserved to lose slightly less than we did, while we deserved to win slightly less than the did, so the result was probably right even if was a crap one for us, when it comes down to it.”